Saturday, January 15, 2011

Rodi continues his life story.

Before I got hooked up doing the news we had got to the point in my breath taking autobiography where I'd been labelled a future star.  This time I'll recount my first experience of a show and that "horse bus" or lorry as it's more usually called.

So by now I was jumping what and when I was supposed to and the humans deemed it appropriate that I show my skills to the world.  The big wide world - YAHOOO!!! Unfortunately this meant going on the lorry.  Despite being a superbly balanced little tike I really didn't like the lorry.  Everyone was crowded together and if you stood in the wrong place the big guys gave you the evils.  I mean the evil evils - the kind that turn your insides to stone.  Plus, the humans said I was a messy eater so tied my hay net up really high.  It was great for them as I couldn't pull my hay all over the floor but it meant I couldn't see out the window!! All the others stood there chatting away about the M25 and how we'd just driven past the Dartford tunnel etc etc but I couldn't see any of it!! This not only meant my journey was incredibly boring but meant my sense of direction was totally confused.  Any how, on arriving the ramp was dropped and well, it was wicked.  In all senses of the word.  There were jumps everywhere and horses all over the shop, not to mention a lot of very swish people.  Apparently I'd been brought to quite a big show.  The bigger lads were doing their "big walk" trying to look good, personally I thought they looked a bit silly but they kind of pushed me a bit and told me to pick my feet up.  I did for a bit and did the walk and talked the talk, then of course I went and tripped over.  Just brilliant.  Now they were all laughing at me.

It wasn't long though before the humans had me all tacked up and I was trotting round the ring with lots of other young horses.  They all looked quite posh so I just jumped a bit, cantered round and then we were in.  OMG!! Where's all the others gone.  I'd gone into the arena and there wasn't just scary stuff everywhere but there weren't any other horses - I was  on my own!  Boy gave me a pat which by this time I'd realised meant a mixture of "get on with it" and "you'll be fine" the proportions of which depended on how much of an idiot I was being.  I cantered up to the first fence bold as brass but with my shoes in my mouth I was so nervous - the poles all fell down.... I gave most of the fences a good bit of breathing space just to be on the safe side.  I was coming to this doubly thing and jumped in perfectly then saw this dude with a camera pointing at me - I thought it was a gun!! I dived sideways but luckily boy kept me reasonably straight which left me right at the bottom of this rather chunky spread.  I did the only thing a super talented genius like me would do -  jump and hope for the best.  I launched myself upwards, flying like a super sonic squirrel and stretched as far as i could forward.  Unfortunately, Boy wasn't quite on the same wavelength as me so I gave him the bum shove to get him in the right place.  Tragically this pushed him rather too far forward so when I landed and flew through the finish in style the photo was ruined by him being on my ears... the plus side was though that I hadn't lost him.  I trotted out the gate very pleased with myself and got lots of pats from the humans - Boy even got told off for getting it wrong.  I felt a bit sorry for him  as I was a bit of a twit... I even got this strange blue flappy thing put on my bridle and got to gallop round the ring at top speed - gallop, gallop, buck, gallop, gallop, boing, bounce ping!! This is actually quite good fun.

I thought the others would be very pleased with me.  Instead when I tried to tell them about my exploits they laughed at me and said I had only done a baby class.  I am not a baby!! Apparently Toby had won some CSI thingy (apparently an international) so was staying the night there which everyone was quite excited about.  I wanted to say hi to him but he kept getting rushed away by important looking people and fancy horses flanking him... That's what I want to be like when I grow up... Rodi's name in stars!


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